Posted via email from catshanghai’s posterous

I’ve been using Vimeo recently. It has a basic free service that lets you upload upto 500 mb of videos each week. All video hosting sites display uploaded footage as compressed flash streams, but Vimeo viewers can download the original file. This is very good for my parents who want to see my baby son Jake reach his milestones in high quality video. It has standard embed and sharing to show the video in this blog and in my Facebook feed. I am a little concerned about the new terms of service from next month that disables the download feature after a week. I could pay $60 for a premium account that enables this feature, but what happens if this site suddenly stops working in China?

Jake Crosses The Bridge from Matt Seigal on Vimeo.

Call it paranoia, but I have been trying out alternative solutions. I have just activated the free two month trial of Apple’s MobileMe. This offers upto 20 GB of online storage, which can be shared with others. It is convenient that it integrates so easily into IMovie, but it took some research and Vaper’s Video tag plugin for WordPress to be able to embed the uploaded Quicktime movies into my blog. I need to remember to add a link to the file if I want my family to download high quality videos of Jake. I’m confident that MobileMe will not be blocked in China, because it is not available to subscribers in this country and it is expensive at $99 a year. I may be tempted to shop on Ebay or Amazon for MobileMe at a discount of upto 50 percent.

I also tried the Indian video hosting site Viddler. Each uploaded video can be upto 500 mb and viewers have a download option that is not yet restricted to paying customers. Videos can be crossposted as an embed into blogs, but this feature does not seem to include Facebook. Perhaps Viddler will be blocked if it catches on as a place to host sensitive footage, but it’s not a household name like Youtube so it may slip through the cracks of a social media crackdown.

Another solution was to use ftp to upload a Quicktime video to my Dreamhost server and to embed the video into my blogpost. This works in a very similar way to embedding MobileMe videos. The advantage is I can move my blog and videos together if my site is ever blocked. The disadvantage is that I am paying for a basic shared hosting plan and performance may be slower than other solutions especially if the files are large. It may be OK, because I only serve videos to a few people.

There are other solutions, but these are hampered by practical issues. I could use Witopia as my virtual private network to hop over the Great Firewall of China to upload footage to Youtube and other blocked services, The problem is that Witopia has been painfully slow in recent weeks and Chinese friends will not be able to see my videos. I could upload videos to Chinese hosting sites like Tudou and Youku, but they are slow outside China and do not offer download options as far as I could see.

What is the best way for someone in China to share videos with the outside world? I’m going to use Viddler, MobileMe and my personal webhost. I hope that no more video sharing services get blocked. If they do then I have a way to share my memories of Jake with my family around the world.

Textbook parenting differs between China and Europe. According to Chinese custom, postpartum women should observe bed rest for a month after the baby is born (yuezi). The child should not go outside under any circumstances except to go home from the hospital. When the baby reaches a month old the father is meant to cross a bridge cradling his child. It is also customary to shave the baby’s head and make a paint print of the baby’s feet and hands for posterity. The Chinese make a calligraphy brush from the baby’s hair. It is also very common for the grandparents to move in and takeover, making decisions about everything from the mother’s diet to the child’s future career.

Europeans are happy to introduce fresh air to newborn babies after only a few days. Postpartum women drive. It is frowned upon to feed babies with formula milk if the mother can produce her own. Newborn babies should never have a haircut and they should only ride around in a car sitting in a car seat fastened with a safety belt. Food allergies are common so breast feeding women should not eat peanuts if there has been a family history of hayfever, asthma or eczema. Half of my family are Jewish so it is very normal to circumcise an eight day baby boy. This never happens in China. Every culture has its own views of parenting.

It’s a minefield, which I think blew up in our face when we chose to shave Jake’s head on Tuesday. Here’s some background. Jake was suffering from cradle cap on his head. We tried to cut it a little, because his head was hot and sweaty and it was not very easy to apply cream on the rash. Our trim was not very successful so we called a professional company to come and shave Jake’s head. Two people have questioned me about this suggesting shaving our baby’s head was inappropriate, but it did not hurt him. He was asleep for most of the time and a head shave feels more like a gentle massage than anything else.

Jake’s First Hair Cut from Matt Seigal on Vimeo.

Jake is the centre of our life. He is a very happy, healthy child and everything we do is designed to ensure that is the case. We would never do anything to cause him intentional harm or discomfort. I am sure we will make parenting choices from time to time that fall outside of the expectations of people in China and Europe. That is inevitable, because parenting viewpoints are so contradictory between our different cultures. Jake is also our child and we will decide how to bring him up even if it is not in line with other people’s expectations. End of sermon.

Jake Crosses The Bridge from Matt Seigal on Vimeo.

The most recent was shot yesterday.It’s the Chinese tradition to mark a month of a baby’s life by crossing a bridge. In this case we crossed Nanpu Bridge and two at Century Park. We went early before the park was too hot and busy. We also hired a large 6 seater quadroped bike to take us around the park.

Jake was unphased during his second outing and I’m pleased to say that I didn’t forget to take any footage this time. I didn’t post any videos of Jake going to Kebabs on the Grille last Thursday, because I forgot to take any video or photos of the occasion.

Jake at 27 Days Old from Matt Seigal on Vimeo.

The second video shows footage of Jake playing and having a bath. Notice how he is alert and able to move his neck around. Babies often get to this stage after a couple of months and Jake was only 27 days old when we shot this.

He is utterly fearless.
Jenny says he feeds like a wolf. He only cries when he is hungry. He is not too bothered by heat or a soiled nappy.

He is strong.
He is already starting to kick and move his neck like a child who is nearly two months old.

He is aware.
I’ve been warned by friends that newborn babies like to sleep, but Jake spends several hours wide wake during the day. He stares at us intently. We’ve had fun singing to him, telling him stories and showing him flashcards.

He is getting bigger.
A health visitor measured him and told us he has put on weight. His birth weight was 3.35 kgs, but now he is over 4kg and he has grown in length from 50cm to 55cm. He drinks about 500ml of milk each day, including Jenny’s breast milk that accounts for about 30 percent of daily intake.

Jenny’s parents told me that he looks 70 percent European and 30 percent Chinese. I’m inclined to agree, but I arrived in this world choking on my mother’s cord and I’m pretty scared of large gatherings. Jake seems to have inherited his mother’s strength, wits and fearlessness. Long may that continue.

It’s really nice having my family home. I normally get cabin fever if I am stuck inside all day, but it feels very natural and grounding to be at home spending time with Jenny and Jake. He looks like a cross between both of his parents, but it is incredible to look at my son. He looks so clean and pure like a version of my younger self before I was contaminated by the world and its people. Jake is his own person who will eventually make an independent life for himself, including all its triumphs and setbacks. I still look at him and see nothing but possibility.

Mum and baby are much more comfortable here. Jake has been wearing some new clothes and he had his first bath at home, which he really enjoyed. We’ve had a few visitors who think Jake looks very healthy and handsome. I have to agree. We bought some special postpartum health food from a company called Guangheitang. They publish a magazine with pictures of cute babies, but I’m pretty sure that Jake’s peachy complexion and big almond eyes would win him a spot in any advertising campaign.

Colleagues and friends keep asking how tired we are. It’s early days. Jenny has just come home from hospital, but we are lucky that we have a yuesao nanny who is helping us take care of mother and baby for the first two months. This takes the pressure off us a little as we learn how to become good parents. I was a little frustrated that she was taking over to the extent that I didn’t feel I was getting enough hands on contact with Jake, but I made it clear that we want the nanny to help us be better parents rather than pay someone else to do all the parenting for us. We’re getting her to teach us all the tricks she has been employing to keep Jake safe, happy and healthy. It will take a little while to master the arts of nappies, winding and baby bathing. but I’m having lots of fun learning how to be a good dad.

The first video was taken yesterday and the second was shot today. Notice how Jake is struggling to open his eyes. Don’t worry. It’s only sleepyness. He’s doing really well. He’s drinking lots of milk, sleeps like his grandpa and is getting ready to suckle from his mum.

Jenny has also had a good day. She can stand up and walk around a little, which is not bad considering she had a c-section yesterday.

Here’s an update. Jenny should have given birth our baby boy Jake on Friday. She is going to hospital for a checkup tomorrow and we are hoping that she will go into a natural labour before the middle of the week. Otherwise, Jenny will admit herself to hospital so the doctors can induce the delivery, but we want the process to be as natural as possible.

Jenny has has a really good pregnancy. She was sick a lot during the first three months, but she has been happy, relaxed and healthy ever since. Jenny has gradually eased her working commitments, but she enjoyed a full and active life throughout her pregnancy. Even during the last few days we have enjoyed going out to local parks, shops and restaurants. The advice to sit at home and wait for contractions does not quite apply to Jenny. Her skin and hair are more beautiful than ever. You see a lot of women at the prenatal checkups. They have become frumpy and dowdy during pregnancy, but Jenny looks more youthful than women 5 to 8 years younger than her.

She has read many books and magazines about pregnancy and childcare. They give all sorts of advice, which Jenny has taken on board depedning on whether it feels appropriate. One piece of advice that Jenny has taken to heart is that stress is bad for her and the baby. Jenny knows how to let go of worrying thoughts and feelings. She has got plenty of sleep, ate healthy food and continued to fill her life with enjoyable activities, including work. It is funny that she was stlll receiving phonecalls from customers as late as last night, but I think they’ve got the message that they are going to have to wait for a few months to get some clothes made.

We still have our cat. He has been good company to Jenny while I’ve been out at work. Sharing an afternoon nap with a lazy cat is a great way to ease your way through pregnancy. One day Chinese parenting books may even recommend cats to help pregnant women relax.

It’s been a good pregnancy. Recent scans show that our baby has a strong heart beat. He has been very active kicking his way to 10 out of 10. He seems very comfortable inside his mother, but we’re ready and waiting for him to make the final descent. The baby’s room is ready. We’ve hired a nanny and Jenny’s bags are packed.

Jenny is starting to get fed up of carrying her bun. She has gained 15 kilos and her fingers and legs have recently started to swell. It is not very easy for her to find a comfortable sitting position.

I’m waiting for that phonecall telling me that Jenny has gone to hospital. I know it is going to be sometime this week, but I don’t know when. We’re in standby and countdown mode.

It may be serendipitous or I may just have my Shanghai expat baby story radar turned on these days, because we came across a story that City Weekend ran at the end of last week about the process of yuezi involving a yuesao nanny. According to the custom of yuezi new mothers spend a month of bed rest while the nanny takes care of mum and baby to make sure both of them are healthy in the future.

Jenny will be following yuezi to the extent that the nanny will help her look after our baby Jake, prepare healthy food and keep all the baby things as clean and sterile as possible. Jenny has planned to breast feed Jake, but she intends to work with the nanny to get him into a settled night time routine as soon as possible so we are able to get some rest. We’re hoping that Jake takes to drinking his mother’s expressed milk through a bottle so Jenny is able to sleep at night.

Specialised yuesaos can be hired through agencies who are able to verify their references and qualifications. Jenny has taken care of recruiting the nanny after getting in touch with a few different agencies, which we found near Red House Hospital in Fangxie Lu. They nanny agencies only operate in Chinese so I couldn’t begin to tell you their name or the address.

The City Weekend article claimed that yuesao nannies cost between 3000 and 5000 RMB each month and we are paying within this range. We do not want the full cost or the loss of privacy associated with a full time live in nanny after the first two months. We want to be hands on parents who are fully involved with every part of Jake’s life from eating, bathing, playing and learning.

We are lucky that we are currently in a position to hire a longer term daytime nanny (ayi) to help us look after Jake until he is ready to come with me to pre nursery at the age of 18 months. This would not be possible if I was working as a teacher in the UK. We’ll look for an ayi in the summer and get the Yuesao nanny to teach her and me how to take good care of Jake.

I am aware that a lot of local families rely on grandparents to take an active role in parenting. Jenny’s parents have been really supportive, but they live an hour away although we know we can always count on them to give us plenty of advice! Jake can also look forward to seeing his English grandparents every week on Skype.

Jake’s expected birthday is 3 weeks today. We’re excited and slightly nervous. Let the countdown begin.

• We enjoyed Chinese New Year in Lingang in Nanhui Pudong
• Jenny found out that our baby is a boy and we’re going to name him Jake. Jenny is now 6 months pregnant. May is fast approaching.
• Our school bought a web server based in Shanghai, which means we can build online learning communities such as Moodle and wordpress blogs. This has been keeping me busy.
• We spent a fantastic Valentine’s day at a new Italian restaurant called Bacaro in Taikang Lu. Its pan fried salmon is really fresh and it melts in your mouth.
• We spent Jenny’s birthday with her friends at the ‘Special Dollar’ hotpot restaurant on Xujiahui Lu.
• I discovered Boduf Songs’ albums. I have not been moved so much by depressing folk music since I heard Caroline Martin at the Bristol’s Cube in May 2003. Enjoy this MP3.
• We watched Red Cliff 1, Red Cliff 2, Eden Lake, and lots of Planet of the Apes.
• Jenny is going part time, but she still makes clothes for musicians including Jiang Fan of canto poppers YFM. Here is a video of Jiang Fan singing wearing one of Jenny’s designs.