We could have opted for the expatriate option where you pay upto 100 000 RMB to jump a few queues and listen to an English speaking doctor at places like Shanghai East Medical Centre. The reality is that expatriate medical facilities are attached to Chinese hospitals. If there are complications then the western clinic will call on specialists in the Chinese hospital to which they are attached. If you don’t need English language service you may as well stick to the cheaper Chinese option, because the health care is ultimately identical. On this basis Jenny was very happy to choose a Chinese hospital near our house. We expect to pay 10 000 RMB to the hospital, which will cover the costs of checkups, delivery, pre natal classes and accommodation.

You would have thought that you make an appointment and turn up to have a few tests in a quiet hospital before leaving for late morning coffee. Going to the hospital for a pre natal checkup is a major expedition. It was a real eye opener. Here are the steps that we went through:

Turn up at 9:30 am to queue up, check in and update paperwork
Chinese mothers have to complete an extensive portfolio of medical and personal information. I cannot read the documents, but they look as extensive as security clearance forms to work in the CIA.

Wait in a line at 10:30 to pay for two visits
Total cost is about 1200 RMB. You need to bring all the correct documents and keep every fapiao. What happens if you lose your paperwork? I imagine the baby will have to wait in the womb until the documents have been regenerated and processed.

Wait until 11:30 as Jenny visited all the testing stations
You have to collect a ticket and wait until it is your turn to be tested. The waiting rooms look like very similar to passport visa offices, only busier.

Wait until 2pm to get test results
We cheated by having lunch while Jenny waited for the final results.

Give a blood sample at 2:30 pm

Collect medication from pharmacy at 3pm

I am not very keen on waiting around for hours at a time, but I was happy to give Jenny moral support and it feels like a rite of passage. I’m happy to report that Jenny and the baby are both doing well at the moment. Jenny is four months pregnant. I am racking my brains for an English name, but they do not tell you the gender in China so this makes the process a little more challenging.

It is worth noting that Shanghai’s reputation for fine dressed women is put to the test during the maternity phase. I have noticed the prevalence of frumpy “Resist-Electromagnetic-Wave-Maternity-Clothes”. I’m not sure how effective they are or need to be, because the jury is still out about whether radiation from electrical devices is at all harmful to an unborn child. Let us suppose there is a grain of truth in the belief that excessive exposure to computers and mobile phones is bad for the baby then why on earth do the manufacturers make such ghastly garments? They reduce the pregnant woman to looking like a sack of potatoes. Surely there is a gap in the market for maternity clothes that preserve the dignity of the woman who wears them. Jenny made the point that Chinese families spend a lot of their household income on raising their child so this reflects a priority shift. That idea rings true in the UK, but that doesn’t mean that pregnant women have to be frumpy by wearing life jackets.

At least I’m married to a woman who can design her own maternity wear!

I’m not sure what triggered the episode. We had been walking around Century Park on a fresh autumn day whereas the metro station was piping hot, stuffy air. I had little warning. After feeling a little weak and light headed, I stood by Jenny hoping for the feeling to pass or for the train to arrive. Then everything went black for a minute or two. It was like falling asleep.

Jenny said that the colour drained from my face as I slumped to the floor. I remember having vague dream like thoughts before coming to and standing up. I opened my eyes, but I couldn’t see anything for a few moments until vision gradually came into focus and colour. I tried to reassure Jenny that I was OK, but then I passed out again.

This time I was more aware and the fainting episode seemed briefer. By this stage a gang of people apparently gathered to look at this foreigner falling down, but someone was very kind in getting help from the station staff who came to my side with a wheelchair.

I remember coming to again and not being able to see. As my sight slowly returned, I remember seeing the train leave with the thought that we should have boarded. I couldn’t really move for a little while so the staff put me in a wheelchair to help me out of the station.

I had recovered from the fainting episode by this stage and I kept telling Jenny and the station staff that I was OK. Passing out left me feeling weak and slightly feverish. We got a taxi home and I spent the evening recuperating. I was still feeling fragile yesterday and I should see a doctor to investigate further.

This is not the first time I have passed out. It happened three years when I first knew Jenny. On that occasion, Jenny saw me fall down in a poorly ventilated bathroom. She said that it was terrifying to see me look like I was going to die going to die. I’m still here, but Jenny told me that the fear of losing me helped her decide that she wanted to stay with me for the long haul.

We cannot take our health for granted, especially in Shanghai. I am still shocked by the sudden death of Jolly who recently died after a brief illness. She suffered multiple organ failure as a result of blood poisoning. She was only 34 years old.